The Mummy Textbook
I was tagged with this by the very lively Sue last week. But because I am splendid with deadlines, I am doing it this week.
So okay, then, the tag is to tell you five things that motherhood has taught me.
a. Ever since I became a mother, I have realised that motherhood is as important (or not) as you make it out to be. If you think it is your most important role in life, then that's the kind of thing that you'll expect the world to give you in terms of return. If you believe it's just another role that you play, then you won't take yourself too seriously. So all that hoopla about being a mother, yeah, I don't buy that. Dads have it just as tough. (This may be completely misguided and one day you might come back here to find my jaws chomping at these very words.)
b. I've learnt that it is possible to have favourites. As difficult as it is for me to admit it, I see it panning out in my life on a daily basis. And that those favourites may change periodically. Also, that you will usually overcompensate for having them.
c. Apart from everything I can do physically for my children, for them to calm down, all they need is for me to be in the same room as them. I can't explain it -- I suppose there is something to be said for parasitic living for 9-odd months.
d. If my dad were to have raised us, my brother and I would be scared, paranoid (albeit intensely loved) human beings, not the free, independent, individualistic people we are today. I have learnt that being a mother means smothering you own fears for your child and letting them find their own riot of colour.
e. Finally, I have learnt that no matter how you correct the mistakes your parents made in bringing you up, in your parenting, you'll make some mistakes of your own. Sometimes, they may be the very same mistakes in different shades, at other times, they'll be a lot different. And all you can do is hope and go looking for your four-leaf clover that when the kids grow up they don't blame every last thing on you. (Apart from praying that if that day should come, you will find it in yourself to know you did the best you could.)
So okay, then, the tag is to tell you five things that motherhood has taught me.
a. Ever since I became a mother, I have realised that motherhood is as important (or not) as you make it out to be. If you think it is your most important role in life, then that's the kind of thing that you'll expect the world to give you in terms of return. If you believe it's just another role that you play, then you won't take yourself too seriously. So all that hoopla about being a mother, yeah, I don't buy that. Dads have it just as tough. (This may be completely misguided and one day you might come back here to find my jaws chomping at these very words.)
b. I've learnt that it is possible to have favourites. As difficult as it is for me to admit it, I see it panning out in my life on a daily basis. And that those favourites may change periodically. Also, that you will usually overcompensate for having them.
c. Apart from everything I can do physically for my children, for them to calm down, all they need is for me to be in the same room as them. I can't explain it -- I suppose there is something to be said for parasitic living for 9-odd months.
d. If my dad were to have raised us, my brother and I would be scared, paranoid (albeit intensely loved) human beings, not the free, independent, individualistic people we are today. I have learnt that being a mother means smothering you own fears for your child and letting them find their own riot of colour.
e. Finally, I have learnt that no matter how you correct the mistakes your parents made in bringing you up, in your parenting, you'll make some mistakes of your own. Sometimes, they may be the very same mistakes in different shades, at other times, they'll be a lot different. And all you can do is hope and go looking for your four-leaf clover that when the kids grow up they don't blame every last thing on you. (Apart from praying that if that day should come, you will find it in yourself to know you did the best you could.)
Labels: lessons, motherhood, tags
posted by Sandhya Menon @ 17:38
2 Comments:
I don't know about the parasitic living. I appear to be the one that excites the boy; it's his dad who calms him down.
Achchha, if you go around chomping these words at any point, you'll probably need a stiff drink to wash it all down. Call me, we'll do it together. Misery loves company and all that. ;)
I couldn't agree more on point (d). Have seen my mom do it and today see myself do it too. Letting the child be..and discover his own things.
Nice post.
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