...and then

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Sach intertainment (Courtesy my ex-colleague Ranjona Bannerjee)

How nice to have just about half the world talking about you. Nicely.

Those of you on twitter will know exactly what I am talking about. Here's a bunch of things that has appeared on my twitter home page by various fans.

"Now I know what god really looks like. He's 5'5", maharashtrian and plays cricket! Tendulkar Bappa Morya!"
"Sach intertainment"
"I saw history made today"
"Yay" (me)
"This is the finest thing we have seen on a cricket field."
"Truly the GOD of cricket! WOW! the one record,the one milestone,the one EVEREST that was left...he has conquered it with dedication n grace!"
"The GOD has just showed, how rightly he is 'The God'!!!"

And through all this, morose old Shekhar Kapoor is playing drama queen.
"How many Indians must die before we get rid of corrupt governance? Terrorists, Fire, Hunger. Twitter for change" (Shouldn't it be 'tweet' for change?)
Lighten up for just a bit, Mr India.   
*****
Speaking of happy things, another list post. Things that have made me happy these past few days.

  • Finding, by chance, my mum reading my blog
  • Waking up to see my daughter's goofy smile 
  • A story I did got picked up by a university here for a demo on how-to.
  • My skin's stopped being hormonal and has gone back to glowing normalcy :p
  • An email with a very nice thing someone I used to look up to in college said to me. (Hi, you-know-who-you-are!)
  • Pants
  • Finding http://inkspillz.blogspot.com/
  • Dropped a kilo or two. Yay.
  • Reading first posts in blogs.
Honestly. I am not just saying this for effect. These things do make me happy. 
  
*****
On another note, everyone's saying, "You make us proud" to Sachin. Can anyone tell me why any of us sitting on our lazy arses, staring into our computers or watching tv while eating a big bag of baked chips should be proud that Sachin is a dedicated, focused, disciplined, consistent, humble, bloody brilliant sportsman?
For, I don't think we had anything to do with where were born -- if our criterion for saying we are proud of Sachin is that we share a nationality -- and the only batting most of us do is to do with a movement of an eyelid. 

That said, Go SACHIIIIIN!






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Monday, 1 February 2010

Notes for today

I came across a fantastic mommy blog. Yes, I used both those words in the same sentence, so imagine how good it would have been. I added the link to my blogroll and voila! it disappeared. When I tried to go back and find it, it said the blog was protected and I  had to log in. I did it a hundred times and still no Mad Momma.

So Mad Momma, mum to the Brat and the Bean, if you ever come to my space, please let me find you.

*****

Today, my domestic help came with a trainee (as she's going away to India for 10 days). The new lady's Sri Lankan and doesn't speak anything other than Sinhalese. And my woman is Mallu and has never been to school. I was wondering how the communicate till I asked Chandra, the Sinhala, how old her kids were. She called to Fatima, my constant, to translate for her. And guess what they spoke in.

Pure, fluent, gorgeous Arabic.

*****
The one big advantage of being a homemaker is that you don't have to make the occasional choice of being faithful. You don't meet enough men to warrant any kind of attraction. So the choice to remain monogamous doesn't have to be reiterated all the time.

Unless you fall in love online or something. Then god help you.

*****

Payday came to me after more than a year now. And, boy, is my list long.
New baby cot because Shyama has outgrown her older one.
New highchair
Tricycle
New carseat
Longines/Omega for my father, in appreciation for all that he is.

Oh-kay then, that was the fastest I've spent my salary, ever.

*****

Yesterday was hilarious with my aunt reverting to her childishness and trying to antagonise me. What a laugh I had. More on her on a later date. But right now, I sincerely hope and pray her mind will reach the ripe old age of 43 that her birth certificate proves her to be.

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Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Things that make me mad

Can you believe this supercilious crap?

I don't get this woman AT. ALL. And for those of you who are wondering why I read it in the first place - here's my explanation for now and eternity. I read everything I can about Bombay. Even by someone as unfortunately popular as De. God!

Because I like the time for an involved, neatly written post, I doing the easy thing. A list of completely random things that really annoy me. If you happen to read this, please feel free to add your own.

1) Complaining about work. Well, not really complaining about work but doing it for three years. And still not doing anything about it. Get up. Get out. Just stop complaining.

2) Making me answer your phone. Your cell phone.

3) Telling me to do something 3.5678 nanoseconds before I am about to do it.

4) Blaming the traffic for everything every chance you get -- your rhinitis, your divorce, your burnt dinner, your sneaky domestic help.

5) Sending me emails. Calling to tell me you sent me an email. Then calling back in half an hour to check if I read your email. I will say this only once: I. CHECK. MY. EMAIL. 20. TIMES. A. DAY. If you've sent it to me, I'll get it.

6) Looking at my monitor for more than two seconds of I-am-not-sure-where-to-look-as-soon-as-I-say-hello, when you stop by my desk for a chat. What the $%$^ do you care if I am looking up how to baste zombie eyeballs or crochet peonies??!

7) Trying to pronounce 's' sounds like Sean Connery. There is only ONE Sean Connery and you are not him.

8) Excessive exclamation marks. However surprised you are, one will do nicely. If you insist on detailed expression, limit it to three.

9) Talking to me in French. I have never learnt French. I don't intend to. So don't try and impress me with it, because I won't know jack. And if it IS impressing you are after, try Italian or Portuguese or something -- at least it sounds sexy.

10) Constantly twitching to see if you are being checked out. And then pretending that you don't care.

11) Jeans/skirts/dresses and bindis. Not cool on anyone. Not Madonna, not Gwen Stefani, not you.

12) Not giving.

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Friday, 4 April 2008

The Super Cow Man and other stories.

Did anyone happen to read this bit of news?

It's scary to think what goes on in these labs that deal with genetics. Today is a man-cow hybrid that lasted three days; tomorrow it's going to last longer and some man with lots of money and no brain is going to want to develop that into something much larger, something much scarier.

Of course, Christianity -- and I speak of it as an organisation here, and not a faith or virtue -- will put its foot down on something like this hard and be the first to criticise but this time around I am with them. Not because of issues such as creating life and then destroying it or even human dignity. I am just against this whole messing with genetics to such an extent because of the scary propositions it spells. That too in completely unclear terms.

For example, all the papers that carried this item said the cow eggs used had "all the genetic material stripped from them". For you and me, what does that specifically mean? Am I to assume, naively, that if this embryo lasts, it won't grow horns and go moo?

Furthermore, I don't trust newspapers to report any of this accurately or with deep understanding of the situation. I believe they've been given a press briefing and it appeared verbatim in the papers' science pages. Which is worrisome. Because if there's an underlying significance to this whole issue, then we are missing it. And on the other hand, if this is just a flash in the pan, then people like me are getting het up over absolutely nothing. In the link above, the colleague of the scientist who is responsible for the experiment clearly says any possibility for stem cell creating to help disease is, at this point, purely academic. I think her statement is singularly significant and I think she realises this isn't all that great. Or maybe she's just jealous :)

On a completely X-Files note: This experiment was something that is being reported because it can. Does it give you a feeling that some where in deep, dark laboratories blackmailed and ambitious scientists are doing things that we can only dream about?

*****

I just read this morning that an Indian actor died in Sydney. He's a theatre actor and was touring with the hugely successful Midsummer Night's Dream, directed by Tim Supple. I happened to catch the performance last year or the year before, I don't remember. And I loved it. So while it was full of artistes from all over India, some who spoke their mother tongues (completely in speaking with the script, by the way)I can't help wondering if it's going to be that gorgeous Mallu boy with a body that was muscular and lithe and hair that was curly and who kept saying 'Hippolyta' in a wonderful Malayalam accent. I think he played Theseus.

But that's besides the point. It must be sad to die in a strange country so far away from home.

*****

In other news, home continues to be my refuge against exhausting cough and cold. But then I better get used to being at home more often than I like. I hear after a baby, nothing remains the same.

Here's a list of things that I wish wouldn't change after the baby.
1) My habit of eating healthy these days
2) My cheerfulness
3) M's complete spoiling of me
4) My sex appeal
5) My preference of colours -- I want to love hot pink for the rest of my life
6) My resolution that I shall never talk about my baby's first step or first toothless grin as if it's the epitome of all that's naughty.
7) My belief and ability to lose weight quickly :)

Speaking of naughty, I don't know what's UP with all my friends who have babies these days. The minute she takes her first steps or decides to make a little noise or even sing her favourite nursery rhyme 20 times in a row, I hear parents say, "Oh, my baby's getting naughtier by the day!" And then I meet these babies and they are all really nice and normal and OCD-ish (which I believe all little kids are) and doing their own thing. And I want to ask either of the parents, 'dude, do you even KNOW what naughty means'. But then I stop myself in time because I notice something -- a weird gleam in their eyes when they say naughty. Hell, these parents are actually saying that with great pride!! That when baby wiggles little toe, it's her sign to tell you she's being naughty! For $#$%#$'s sake, new parents, unless the child is setting your house on fire or bringing home incisors that are not her own as souvenirs please don't tell people she is naughty. Or, at least, don't tell ME.

*****

I've been told to talk to my baby to be. Hmmm... what does one say to someone one's never met? So I ask it super inane questions like are you hungry, and are you a girl, are you a boy, are you going to give me insouciance and back chat when you get to 11, are you going to be gay... etc etc.. And I still call it 'Oye' or 'Eh' or something.

Everyone has SO much more confidence than me when they say I am going to make a super mom. Is that something non-mommies just tell mommies to be? I think it is.

*****

List time.

Three dirty little secrets.

1) I LOVE crochet. No, it's not since the pregnancy, I started much before that. And no, I wouldn't ever wear a crochet garment even if it meant someone tied me to a chair and fed me raw ostrich eggs while they tickled the soles of my feet.

2) I am petrified that if I have boy I'll name it something that I think is nice then, and then every two years I'll keep calling it something new.

3) Last trimester has brought on a crash in libido. The good part? M still drives me crazy :)

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