Women are who men wish they could be.

I met up with the girls over the weekend. The restaurant that we sat at, I think they'll run the next time we come by. We did everything from harassing Jonathan, our waiter, to join Facebook so we could all add him to discussing seriously twisted weight loss methods.

Women are always eating, even though we complain about being fat. But how can we not be fat, habibi? We're always eating! Here's what we did. We headed to the mall just after lunch, and because one of us was surviving on a sliver of biscuit that's thinner than an ice flake, she said she needed food. We followed our noses to the food court. Way past eating up the stuff that was ordered, we were still sitting there making life really annoying for those around us because we kept guffawing, raising our hands and slipping in and out of regional Indian languages.

How does one get heard or even hear in a group of really talkative women? You cannot. At any given point, there were at least five conversations going on between three groups of women. And if you thought that was amazing then you need to know that we even commented on the other group's discussions. Super-taskers, that's us.

I was thinking, men will never find comfort in an all-girl gaggle. We desexitise everything. Case in point: We launched into a discussion on how it is possible to predict whether you're having a boy or a girl. It involves breast milk, a wall and a superstition. I will not elucidate. I, for one, didn't enjoy the process of breastfeeding and find anything remotely to do with it uncomfortable and completely tiresome. 
By the end of that conversation, women were grabbing their breasts protectively; ribald jokes had gone completely out of hand and I was on a new mission -- to find scientific fact behind this folklore. 
But I am amazed at how girly that shopping trip was. You see, usually when I get together with my lifelong girlfriends, we usually catch up on each other's lives, we discuss things in earnest seriousness, we talk about work and plans and how each of us is feeling about things. We share a lot of love, some food, some random vignettes from our life of the past three months, very Sex and the City-ish. We're left with a warm feeling of satisfaction and time well spent at the end of it.
But this Thursday, I felt like I'd been stuck into a washer-drier that had disco lights and played music from 'Grease'. The one-liners came fast and thick, the laughter was all consuming, absolutely uninhibited talk of sex, clothes and common enemies flowed. I am usually good at sensing any undercurrents and here I sensed none. ALL of these women, and I mean all, vegetarians and non-smokers even, were warm and welcoming; they seemed to have endless space in their lives for new people. I was new to this group -- I knew some of these women individually, and because Muscat is a small place all of these women were loosely part of the same crowd. Also by virtue of all of them being earthy, fun and totally themselves.  
It would be understatement to say this Thursday was the best I've had in a long time. 


Here's what I learnt.
1) I am not a prude but I can't do ribald
2) Anything to do with breasts in connection with breastmilk makes me uncomfortable. 
3) You really gotta have a bunch of girls where you are not required to think.
4) Everything is laughable when there's a bunch of girls. Your breasts, your sex life or the lack of it, your job, your religion.
5) I have now complete understanding of why women are the more attractive sex and I don't mean looks wise. It's not the breasts, it's not the butt, it's not good skin hair teeth smile whatever. It's that women are who men aspire to be. Fun, fearless (sorry Cosmo), totally sexy in their heads. Wow.
6) I also understand why women can be completely pissing off. It's not that we don't know what we want, it is that what we want changes according to our place in life. 
7) I know the reason we complain about weight. We always have food on our minds. 
8) It is possible to walk around a whole mall laden with goodies and not buy anything. And I am proof of the fact that I need to master that art. My plunder was my first piece of Versace -- glasses.  Nice Elle MacPherson intimate and a lipstick.
9) It's possible to be with 6 other very lovely-looking women and not feel like you're underdressed/overdressed, fatter, thinner, prettier, uglier, hotter, more sophisticated, less sophisticated than them. If it's possible to feel secure in  your skin with six women of completely different personalities, zodiac signs, sizes and backgrounds, then it's possible to feel that way with any woman. Except perhaps Salma Hayek.
10) I need to get out more often.